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Fun Things to Know About Wedding Traditions
- TIE THE KNOT: The expression "tie the knot" comes
from Roman times when the bride wore a girdle that was tied
in knots which the groom had the fun of untying.
- LEAP YEAR PROPOSALS: The right of every women to
propose on 29th February each leap year, goes back many
hundreds of years to when the leap year day had no
recognition in English law (the day was `lept over' and
ignored, hence the term `leap year'). It was considered,
therefore, that as the day had no legal status, it was
reasonable to assume that traditions also had no status.
Consequently, women who were concerned about being `left on
the shelf' took advantage of this anomaly and proposed to
the man they wished to marry. It was also thought that since
the leap year day corrected the discrepancy between the
calendar year of 365 days and the time taken for the Earth
to complete one orbit of the sun (365 days and 6 hours), it
was an opportunity for women to correct a tradition that was
one-sided and unjust. For those wishing to take advantage of
this ancient tradition, you will have to wait until Tuesday
29th February in the year 2000.
- ENGAGEMENT RING: The engagement ring is a promise
for marriage. During the Roman era, the man had to "barter"
for his future bride. The engagement ring was security for
the "betrothed." As time went on, men presented diamond
rings to future brides because a ring containing a diamond
was considered more valuable than a plain gold band-thus, it
is a stronger promise and offers more security. Diamond
engagement rings were given by medieval Italians, because of
their belief that the diamond was created from the flames of
love.
- BACHELOR PARTY: This was the last chance before
his new wife took over the finances for the groom to gather
money by gambling for his own future use. Ancient Spartan
soldiers were the first to hold stag parties. The groom
would feast with his male friends on the night before the
wedding. There he would say goodbye to the carefree days of
bachelorhood and swear continued allegiance to his comrades.
- BRIDAL SHOWER: This custom came about when a
father disapproved of his daughter's marriage and refused to
provide a dowry to the couple. The shower became the
alternative to the dowry. Supportive villagers would
assemble and provide the bride a variety of household items
for her new home. Bridal showers were also meant to
strengthen the friendships between the bride and her
friends, give her moral support, and help her prepare for
her marriage. The idea to give gifts is fairly new, dating
from the 1890's. At one shower, the bride's friend placed
small gifts inside a Japanese parasol, and then opened it
over the bride's head so all of the presents would "shower"
over her. When word of this hit the fashion pages, people
were so charmed, they decided to do the same at their
showers.
- DOWRY/HOPE CHEST AND TROUSSEAU: There was a time
when marriage would include some exchange of property
between the families of the bride and groom. The groom's
family would pay a price to the bride's family for the
bride. The bride's family in turn would provide the couple
with a dowry of various household items for their new home.
As a bride planned for her future marriage, she would
supplement this dowry with her own items that she collected
or made (i.e. embroidered linens). All items would be kept
in a special Hope Chest built by the bride's father for the
purpose of holding the dowry. The trousseau included all the
clothing and property which a bride brought with her to the
marriage. Today, the trousseau includes all wedding and
shower gifts as well as new purchases.
- WEDDING BANNS: This is an announcement of an
impending wedding in the Catholic Church. This announcement
usually takes place for three consecutive Sundays. Its
purpose was to inform the public with enough notice of the
pending wedding so if anyone objected to the marriage, they
could do so.
- BRIDAL GOWN (WHITE): There was a time when the
bride would wear her favorite dress to the ceremony. In
1840, Queen Victoria wore an elegant all white gown to her
wedding. She started a fashion trend which quickly caught on
and continues to this very day. White was worn because
people believed it represented affluence, virginity and
purity.
- THE BRIDAL VEIL: The origin of the wedding veil
is unclear but it is thought that it predates the wedding
dress by centuries. One explanation is that it is a relic of
the days when a groom would throw a blanket over the head of
the woman of his choice when he captured her and carted her
off. Another explanation is that during the times of
arranged marriages, the bride's face was covered until the
groom was committed to her at the ceremony - so it would be
too late for him to run off if he didn't like the look of
her! It is also thought that the veil was worn to protect
the bride from evil spirits that would be floating around on
her wedding day. Traditionally the bridal veil was a symbol
for modesty, respect and virginity. The veil served as a
reminder to all witnessing the ceremony that the physical
relationship was entered into only after the vows were
exchanged and the marriage became official with the seal of
a kiss. The veil was removed after the vows were exchanged
and the couple was pronounced "Man and Wife."
- BRIDAL FLOWERS: The carrying of flowers by the
bride has its roots in ancient times when it was believed
that strong smelling herbs and spices would ward off and
drive away evil spirits, bad luck and ill health. Garlic and
chives were also popular for the same reason. During Roman
times, this tradition was extended, with the bride and groom
wearing floral garlands signifying new life and hope for
fertility. The bouquet in particular symbolized a women in
bloom. During Victorian times, flowers took on an additional
significance as lovers would send messages to each other
using different flowers, with each flower having its own
meaning. These associations were soon adopted for the
bride's bouquet and are still used today by many brides. The
most popular flowers with their traditional meanings
are:
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|
| Apple Blossom - Better things to come |
Camelia - Gratitude |
| Carnation - Fascination and love |
Chrysanthemum (red) - I love you |
| Chrysanthemum (white) - Truth |
Cyclamen - Modesty and shyness |
| Daffodil - Regard |
Daisy - Innocence |
| Fern - Fascination and sincerity |
Flowering Almond - Hope |
| Forget-me-not - True love and remembrance |
Heliotrope - Devotion and faithfulness |
| Honeysuckle - Generosity |
Hyacinth - Loveliness |
| Hydrangea - Boastfulness |
Iris - Warmth of affection |
| Ivy - Eternal fidelity |
Japonica - Loveliness |
| Jasmine - Amiability |
Lemon Blossom - Fidelity in love |
| Lilac (white) - Youthful innocence |
Lily - Majesty |
| Lily-of-the-valley - Return of happiness |
Magnolia - Perseverance |
| Maidenhair - Discretion |
Mimosa - Sensitivity |
| Orange Blossom - Purity and virginity |
Peach Blossom - Captive |
| Rose (red) - Love |
Rose (white) - Worthiness |
| Rose (other colors) - Love and beauty |
Rosemary - Remembrance |
| Snowdrop - Hope |
Sweet Pea - Delicate pleasures |
| Tulip - Love |
Veronica - Fidelity |
| Violet - Faithfulness |
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- SOMETHING OLD, NEW, BORROWED AND BLUE: The full
wording of this popular bridal attire rhyme, which dates
back to the Victorian times is something old, something new,
something borrowed, something blue and a silver sixpence in
your shoe'. Something old refers to wearing something that
represents a link with the bride's family and her old life.
Usually, the bride wears a piece of family jewelry or maybe
her mother's or grandmother's wedding dress. Wearing
something new represents good fortune and success in the
bride's new life. The bride's wedding dress is usually
chosen, if purchased new, but it can be any other new item
of the bride's wedding attire. Wearing something borrowed,
which has already been worn by a happy bride at her wedding,
is meant to bring good luck to the marriage. Something
borrowed could be an item of bridal clothing, a handkerchief
or an item of jewelry. Wearing something blue dates back to
biblical times when the color blue was considered to
represent purity and fidelity. Over time this has evolved
from wearing a blue clothing to wearing a blue band around
the bottom of the bride's dress and to modern times where
the bride wears a blue or blue trimmed garter. In England
placing a silver sixpence in the bride's shoe is a symbol of
wealth. This is not just to bring the bride financial wealth
but also a wealth of happiness and joy throughout her
married life.
- THE WEDDING CEREMONY: Wedding March The
traditional church wedding features two bridal marches, by
two different classical composers. The bride walks down the
aisle to the majestic, moderately paced music of the "Bridal
Chorus" from Richard Wagner's 1848 opera "Lohengrin. The
newlyweds exit to the more jubilant, upbeat strains of the
"Wedding March" >From Felix Mendelssohn's "A Midsummer
Night's Dream." The custom dates back to the royal marriage,
in 1858, of Victoria, princes s of Great Britain, and
Empress of Germany, to Prince Frederick William of Prussia.
Victoria, eldest daughter of Britain's Queen Victoria,
selected the music herself. A patron of the arts, she valued
the works of Mendelssohn and practically venerated those of
Wagner. Given the British penchant for copying the monarchy,
soon brides throughout the Isles, nobility and commoners
alike, were marching to Victoria's drummer, establishing a
Western wedding tradition.
- BRIDESMAIDS AND GROOMSMEN: The bridal party has
many origins, one of which comes from the Anglo Saxon days.
When the groom was about to capture his bride, he needed the
help of his friends, the "bridesmen" or "brideknights". They
would make sure the bride got to the church and to the
groom's house afterwards. The bride also had women to help
her, the "bridesmaids" or "brideswomen".
- CHILD ATTENDANTS: Children were originally
included in the ceremony to add innocence.
- THE BEST MAN: During ancient times when women were
in short supply, the groom captured his bride-to-be from a
neighboring village. The future bridegroom, accompanied by a
male companion, seized any young girl who had strayed from
the safety of her parental home. Our custom of a "best man"
is a relic of that two man, strong-armed tactic; for such an
important task, only the best man would do.
A best man around AD 200 carried more than a ring. Since
there remained the real threat of the bride's family
attempting to forcibly gain her return, the best man stayed
by the groom's side throughout the marriage ceremony, alert
and armed. He also might serve as a sentry outside the
newlyweds' home. Of course, much of this is German folklore,
but it is not without written documentation and physical
artifacts. For instance, the threat of recapture by the
bride's family was perceived as so genuine that beneath the
church altars of many early peoples - including the Huns,
the Goths, the Visigoths, and the Vandals - lay an arsenal
of clubs, knives, and spears.
- FATHER GIVING THE BRIDE AWAY: This custom
originally had it's roots in arranged marriages where the
bride was considered property. Later, this custom persisted
as a symbol with two meanings: an endorsement by the father
to all witnessing the ceremony that the groom is the best
choice for his daughter. an offering to the groom: "I am
presenting to you my daughter."
- WHY THE BRIDE STANDS ON THE LEFT: During the
marriage ceremony, the bride stands on the left and the
groom on the right. The origin of this goes back to the days
when a groom would capture his bride by kidnapping her. If
the groom had to fight off other men who also wanted her as
their bride, he would hold his bride-to-be with his left
hand allowing his right hand to be free to use his sword.
- WHITE AISLE RUNNER: The white aisle runner
symbolized God's holiness and walking on holy ground. It is
believed that marriage is not just between two individuals
but includes the presence of God who is actively involved in
the marriage ceremony.
- TAKING OF EACH OTHER'S RIGHT HAND: The open right
hand is a symbol of strength, resource and purpose. The
coming together of both right hands is a symbol that both
the bride and the groom can depend on each other and the
resources that each brings to the marriage. It also
represents the merger of their lives together into one.
- GROOM GIVES FIRST VOWS: Because he is the
initiator, he is the first to state his vow for marriage. As
the initiator of the covenant, the groom is to assume the
greatest responsibility in the marriage.
- HUPPAH: In the Jewish religion, the ceremony
takes place as the couple stands under an ornamental canopy.
This canopy symbolized nomadic tents of Israel and the new
home that the couple would soon share.
- THIRD FINGER, LEFT HAND: A bride's engagement
ring and wedding ring are traditionally worn on the third
finger of the left hand (the finger next to your little
finger). Although there is no precise evidence to explain
the origin of this tradition, there are two strongly held
beliefs. The first, dating back to the 17th century, is that
during a Christian wedding the priest arrived at the forth
finger (counting the thumb) after touching the three fingers
on the left hand `...in the name of the Father, the Son and
the Holy Ghost'. The second belief refers to an Egyptian
belief that the ring finger follows the vena amoris, that
is, the vein of love that runs directly to the heart.
- WEDDING RING: The marriage ring represents a
promise for eternal and everlasting love. It is a
representation of the promises joining both the bride and
groom together. The wedding ring is placed on the fourth
finger of the right hand because it was traditionally
believed that this finger was a direct connection to the
heart-the perfect place to place a symbol, representing
eternal love and commitment.
- FIRST KISS: No ceremony is complete without the
kiss. In fact, there was a time when an engagement would be
null and void without one. Dating back from early Roman
times, the kiss represented a legal bond that sealed all
contracts.
- PRONOUNCED "MAN AND WIFE": This is the point of
time when the marriage becomes official. It is also at this
point that the bride officially changes her name.
- BREAKING OF GLASS: A Jewish tradition that
represents the destruction of the temple in Jerusalem. Many
times couple save the pieces of glass from the ceremony in a
symbolic box.
- UNITY CANDLE: The unity candle is a symbol of
family unity. Usually a single candle (representing the
newly married couple) is lit with two individual candles,
each representing the bride's and groom's families.
- ARCH OF SWORDS FOLLOWING CEREMONY: Walking
through the arc of swords following the ceremony was done to
ensure the couple's safe passage into their new life
together.
- RECEIVING LINE: This is a chance for the guests
to congratulate and greet the newly married couple and their
parents.
- RECEPTION: FOOD AND WINE: The reception is the
official celebration of the new couple. The wedding cake
represents the sharing of the bride and groom's body to
become one. The drinking of wine symbolizes the sharing of
the bride's and groom's life together with God.
- WEDDING CAKES: A wedding just wouldn't be
complete without fertility symbols, like the wedding cake.
Ancient Romans would bake a cake made of wheat or barley and
break it over the bride's head as a symbol of her fertility.
It became tradition to pile up several small cakes, one on
top of the other, as high as they could, and the bride and
groom would kiss over the tower and try not to knock it
down. If they were successful, it meant a lifetime of
prosperity. During the reign of King Charles II of England,
it became customary to turn this cake into an enjoyably
edible palace, iced with white sugar.
- FIRST ON THE DANCE FLOOR: At the evening
celebrations, the bride and groom traditionally dance first
on their own to a waltz. However, as ballroom dancing is not
so popular these days, the newlyweds usually dance to a
favorite romantic song. During the playing of this song, it
is traditional for the couple to dance the complete song
alone. After the first dance, the bride and her father or
brother dance followed by the groom and his mother.
- SIGNING OF THE GUEST BOOK: The signing of the
marriage certificate documents a public record of the
marriage. The guest book was a record of all people who
witnessed the wedding. For that reason, the guest book is
supposed to be signed following the official wedding
ceremony.
- THROWING OF THE GARTER BELT: This ritual dates
back to a time when woman wore hose with a garter belt. It
was a chance for the single men to share in the good fortune
of the groom. Today, it is believed that the man who catches
the garter when it is thrown will be the next to marry. In
the 14th century, is was customary for the bride to toss her
garter to the men, but sometimes the men got too drunk, and
would become impatient and try to take the garter off her
ahead of time. It got to be less trouble for her just to
toss the bridal bouquet.
- FLOWERS AND THE TOSSING OF THE BOUQUET: Flowers
were incorporated into the ceremony because they represent
fertility, purity, new life and never ending love.
Traditionally, bouquets were a mixture of flowers and herbs.
Dill was a very popular choice as an herb because it was
believed to promote lust. Following the ceremony, the dill
was eaten for that purpose. Tossing of the bridal bouquet is
a custom which has it's roots in England. It was believed
that the bride could pass along good fortune to others. In
order to obtain this fortune, spectators would try to tear
away pieces of the bride's clothing and flowers. In an
attempt to get away, the bride would toss her bouquet into
the crowd. Tradition says that the single women who catches
the bouquet is the one who receives the bride's fortune and
will marry next.
- THE GRAND EXIT AFTER THE RECEPTION:
Traditionally, old shoes were tied to the back of the car to
represent the transfer of property from the father of the
bride to the groom. Horn honking, the shooting off of
firecrackers and ringing of bells were a means to protect
the bride by warding off evil spirits.
- THROWING OF RICE, FLOWERS: When thrown as the
couple exited the church, throwing of rice and flowers
represented the wish for the couple to have a fruitful and
plentiful life together. Originally rice and wheat were
thrown over the married couple to represent the hope for
fertility.When rose pedals are thrown before the bride as
she walks down the aisle, it is to ward-off evil spirits
below the ground and grant fertility.
- THROWING CONFETTI: Throwing confetti over newly
weds originated from the ancient Pagan rite of showering the
happy couple with grain to wish upon them a `fruitful'
union. Pagans believed that the fertility of the seeds would
be transferred to the couple on whom they fell. The throwing
of rice has the same symbolic meaning. The word confetti has
the same root as the word confectionery in Italian and was
used to describe `sweetmeats' that is, grain and nuts coated
in sugar that were thrown over newly weds for the same Pagan
reason. In recent years, small pieces of colored paper have
replaced sweetmeats, grain and nuts as an inexpensive
substitute but the use of the word confetti has remained.
- WEDDING FAVORS: Wedding favors are momentos of
the special occasion given to each wedding guest to thank
them for sharing the momentous occasion with the bride and
groom.
- FOLLOWING THE RECEPTION / SHOES TIED TO BUMPER:
Tying shoes to the bumper of the car represents the
symbolism and power of shoes in ancient times. Egyptians
would exchange sandals when they exchanged goods, so when
the father of the bride gave his daughter to the groom, he
would also give the brides sandals to show that she now
belonged to the groom. In Anglo Saxon times, the groom would
tap the heel of the bride's shoe to show his authority over
her. In later times, people would throw shoes at the couple,
and now we just tie shoes to their car.
- CARRYING THE BRIDE OVER THE THRESHOLD: There
seems to be two explanations for this tradition where the
groom carries his bride over the threshold when entering
their home as a married couple for the first time. The first
is to protect the bride from evil spirits that were thought
to be lying in wait under the threshold. The second
explanation relates to Roman times when it was believed that
if the bride stumbled when entering the newlywed's home for
the first time, it would bring bad luck and harm to their
marriage. So carrying the bride across the threshold would
prevent this from happening (although we haven't established
the likely outcome to the marriage if the groom stumbled
while carrying the bride!
- HONEYMOON: This was a chance for the new couple
to hide from family and friends for a period of time.
- SHIVARE: This custom dates back from the Middle
Ages. A group of friends would gather and bang on pots and
pans, shoot off guns, etc. to disturb the newlywed couple on
their wedding night.
- VALENTINES DAY: Once married, remembering
Valentines Day is a requirement. But who was St. Valentine?
One story is that during the days of Emperor Claudius, war
was raging, and Claudius thought that bachelor soldiers
would fight harder so he outlawed marriage, so St.
Valentinus, a priest, would marry people secretly. Another
story says that Valentinus was a christian who refused to
worship pagan gods and was imprisoned. During this time, he
made friends with the jailer's blind daughter and cured her
through prayer. When he was executed, on February 14, he
left a note for her singed, "your Valentine".
- INTERNATIONAL TRADITIONS: Following is a list
traditions, customs and rituals throughout the world. Some
of these are still followed at weddings today. If an English
bride passed a chimney sweep on her way to the church, and
the chimney sweep kissed her, it was considered good luck.
In Holland and Switzerland a pine tree, a symbol of
fertility and luck, was once planted outside a new couple's
home. In South Africa, both bride's and groom's parents
carried a fire from the hearths of their own homes and took
this fire to the new couple's home to begin the fire in
their home. In Armenia, two white doves were set free to
symbolize love and happiness. The wedding cake in Bermuda
was a multi-level fruitcake and included a small cedar tree
on top. This tree was planted and is supposed to grow with
the love of the bride and groom. In Japan, brides change
their bridal attire several times throughout the wedding
day. In England, the bride wouldn't allow her married name
to be used before the wedding for it was considered bad
luck. In Italy, the groom's tie was cut into pieces and sold
to the guests at the reception. The money earned is used for
the honeymoon. Flowers decorated the front of the bridal car
in Italy so that the bride and groom would have happy
travels throughout life together. In Japan, ducks or a goose
and gander were included in the processional because they
mate for life and are a symbol for fidelity. In Poland,
guests paid to dance with the bride and this money is used
for the honeymoon. During the reception in Spain, wedding
guests danced a special dance and then present gifts to the
bride. An early American custom-the bride pinned a small
pouch to her wedding petticoat. This pouch contained a small
piece of bread, cloth, wood and a single one-dollar bill.
This ensured that there would be enough food, clothes,
shelter and money for the future couple.
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